www.nypress.com/16/43/new...norile.cfm

"Sierra Tucson utilizes many different types of therapeutic modalities to access underlying issues," the website of the roughly $1000-a-day treatment center explains. "Each modality is designed to unearth vital information from different angles and pathways into ones self." (That is all supposed to happen before you head on to the adjoining Miraval Spa, a posh resort and sister company to Sierra Tucson, where you rest up at after youve done your 30 days in the treatment center.)

From "psychodynamic role-playing and yoga" to "adventure therapy," "Climbing Wall," "the desert experience" and "equine-assisted therapy" (yes, bonding with horses), Limbaugh may just think he died and went to "feminazi" hell. The website depicts photos of people with a decidedly Berkeley look sitting around on the floor in what seem like consciousness-raising sessions. Picture Rush holding his fellow travelers hands and singing Kumbayah. Surely hell be reciting a line from the very president he lambasted for years: "I feel your pain." How many on the right would have thought that Bill Clinton would be getting the last chuckle, out there aiding his feminazi wifes successful political career while their man Rush is wandering the desert reciting New Age mantras?

"Self-discovery often crystallizes during an experience that requires physical and mental exertion in the face of a potentially fearful activity," the description for the Climbing Wall says. "With its height and verticality, the Climbing Wall serves as an important therapeutic metaphor."

Yes, Im sure some of you would pay to watch Limbaugh scale that wall. But me, Id like to observe him during "creative expression therapy," which includes "art therapy, journaling, meditation" and "clap outs, historygrams, reading assignments" as well as"sculpting." These techniques, the website explains, "deepen the journey to self-discovery."

But its the horse-bonding that really may change Rushs life.

"Equine-Assisted Therapy is an interactive therapy modality in which participants work one-on-one with horses in a metaphoric experience." Sounds kinky, but apparently there is an adult present. "This program utilizes a trained equine therapist to help interpret behaviors, ask questions, and facilitate the experience."

Phew. So, how does this therapy work?

"The process of working with the horse helps patients access their wounds, identify dysfunctional behaviors in relationships, recognize their effectiveness or ineffectiveness in setting appropriate boundaries, and identify deep-seated issues that may not have been brought to the surface with other therapeutic interventions. For example, horses have an uncanny ability to sense deep human emotions and can mirror a participants mood or behavior."

Can you imagine the horse that mirrors Limbaughs mood or behavior? Get the hell out of the way!

"Through the interaction between the horse and the patient, a trained therapist will ask questions based upon what is being revealed through the relationship," the description notes. "Through a series of interactions, patients begin to understand destructive patterns of their behavior."

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... and on and on.