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Most recountings sound like people who have them come back calmer and refocused, and usually with enhanced religious faith. But I've heard some people have bad ones too.


let me address this statement...Do you think your life is the same as mine? or as your neighbors? do you think the experiences are all the same? no, we each have our own path...

same as death, we each have our own different path. some times they are the same as others, some are different...like our lives, we have some experiences that are the same, some are different.

I can't really explain, and don't really wish to go into details...but one thing for sure...it changed me.

I was working on not being so bitter and so angry..but didn't have the serenity that comes with it...Here i was fighting my will against my will..battling 2 thought processes...to forgive or not to forgive...back and forth i would go.
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I was in the emergancy room for about I would guess, an hour my time...in real time, I was there for about 8 hours. There was a time difference as far as I could see...I watched my vitals on the monitors...and i remember thinking, gee i wonder if that is a good golf score, because I have never seen those numbers before...I studied to be a nurse aid, so I was familiar with what the numbers meant...but at the time...all I could think of was this is not good...I wonder if it is a good golf score.

I remember the tech trying 4 times to find a vein for an IV. each vein he found, colapsed and he couldn't get the IV meds into me...so as with each passing moment...a little bit of me slipped away. I always wondered if emergancy room personal freak out when they have a serious patient. Because when ever i have gone into the emergancy room before, they are always so easy going....Fear gripped the tech's face, as he kept trying to insert the iv in me...he was scared i was going to die. The doctor, was scared too. he had a look about him. Each person that walked in my room were afraid I was going to die.

well, anyway, there is more that happened...but in the end..I realized that I wasted a lot of time with my life, being bitter, being angry...when I should have been happy, enjoying the days with my children and my family. Cherishing the moments that they are with me..instead of wasting brainspace being all ticked off cuz this or that...

I am a better wife, better mother, pay more attention to them, then being selfish and selfcentered. I don't go around talking about other people cus Who cares if they are icky people...I want to be happy. And yea, I could stay stuck in thinking I was a domestic violence victim...or I could consider myself a domestic violence survivor. I could consider myself not important, or irrelevant and be insecure, or I can think of my self as IMPORTANT and I have a purpose, and I have a path. I can focus on all the negative events in my life...or I can focus on the positive events of my life...

I could go around whining WHY ME?? or I can empower myself...and make my dreams my reality. I could say, GOD this God that, GOD should have, could have would have...but why?

I didn't know who God was...I believed in God, but didn't REALLY know, and wondered who He was...what does he think about, why? Is he a judging God..or what?

NDE left me knowing...what life is all about...whats the point of life, our existance our reason for being on this planet?

And I would think it would have been this COMPLEX answer...like a profound meaning...like a devine revolation...

well, It was a devine revolation for me...but it was so simple even a child could understand it. Life is all about love. TO enjoy being loved..to enjoy loving...and that is it....that is all there is to the meaning of life...leave it to humans to try to make it into something more....the best example I can give, is a baby. The baby first enters this world...and the baby knows how to love...the baby loves to be loved back.

Having my baby after my NDE, I watch her smile at the simplest things...a neat sound, a tickle, being picked up...being hugged...being happy to see someone. Not worried about anything. Every day, she smiles, everyday she is happy...every moment she tries to enjoy. And that is what life is about...

Preachers, and religious people...they want to judge they want to reform people into being righteous...but if one has not love, then he has nothing. Life is a song, not a bunch of clanging noise. So, people can say they know the truth...but I know, I know nothing....To comprehend how the earth was made, I couldn't begin to make another earth...to comprehend why the lightening strikes, I know I can't begin to stop the wind. It is a puzzle...and I only have one piece of it...so there is no way, I can tell another what the picture of the puzzle looks like.